When You Look Harder
by Phantom Hitman 1412
Summary: When you look harder, you might just discover that the person is different from who you think they are, are different from how everybody thinks they are. If you look close enough, you might just discover the real them. And you might just fall in love. A Christmas themed gift fic. 8027.


**When you look harder.**

**When you look harder, you might just discover that the person is different from who you think they are, are different from how everybody thinks they are. If you look close enough, you might just discover the real them. And you might just fall in love. A Christmas themed gift fic. 8027. **

**This is not a pairing I ship, although it's not one I dislike either. This fic is a gift for someone, and this was the pairing they asked for; since I live to serve, here it is. **

**A late Merry Christmas and lots of good wishes for the New Year. **

* * *

There was this boy, a boy in his class, a rather interesting boy. He looked normal, his life could even be described as normal, after all bullying was a common occurrence that many people went through. Being bullied wasn't something special. His grades were lower than average too, which was never a good thing, but then again, who was he to comment.

But nevertheless, this boy was interesting.

Takeshi found himself watching this boy more and more.

You see, there was just something about him. He came in day after day, despite the bruises and cuts and sore limbs from yet another meeting with the bullies. Takeshi had to wonder whether anyone else saw these mars on the boy's body, hidden expertly under the school uniform. But Takeshi did. Being a sportsman he noticed these kinds of things, being in top physical shape was crucial to him.

He would watch this boy as the boy stared out of the window. The boy tried to pay attention, at the start of the lesson he was furiously scribbling down notes like any normal student. But Takeshi would watch as the boy became more and more flustered. That cute confused expression would soon alight on his face, changing into one of shock and desperation before eventually turning resigned as the boy gives up on keeping up with the class and starts to doodle. When he gets bored of doodling, the boy would stare out of the window, like he was doing now.

Takeshi yawned, blinked and returned his head to his crossed arms. To anyone else, especially those girls who paid him a lot of attention (Wasn't that nice of them?), it looked like he was sleeping once again. The girls found it cute and the boys didn't mind, for _surely_ Takeshi was just tired from how much effort he put into Baseball practice. But instead, Takeshi was spying, looking out from under his hair and arms at the boy across the room, at the boy staring carelessly out of the window.

At the boy who tried so hard yet no one noticed.

Takeshi was getting worried about the boy. It was winter, almost Christmas in fact, and there was ice on the ground. Takeshi had seen the bandages and plasters covering his knees and ankles from where the boy kept on tripping. He absently wondered how many times this boy was 'helped' to the ground and how much it was from natural causes. But either way it still worried him.

"Yamamoto, Sawada!" Takeshi sleepily blinked and raises his head to look towards the teacher. From his left there is a clatter before the rest of the class giggled.

"I didn't know you were so excited to get another bad grade Dame-Tsuna."

The boy, named Sawada Tsunayoshi, nicknamed Dame-Tsuna, blushed and quickly turned around to pick his chair back up. He had jumped like a rabbit when his name had so suddenly been called, causing the chair to fall backwards with a rather loud bang. The boy ignored the remark from a classmate as he walked to the front of the class. Takeshi decided that he had better go too. They reached the podium together, sharing the glare the teacher gave them.

"Sawada, you scored 14, Yamamoto, you scored 19. Both of you need to come back for remedial classes later on today. Don't be late."

Takeshi laughed, a hand behind his head in his usual manner as he took the test sheet back from his teacher. The class laughed with him. For it's _okay_ for the Baseball Star of the school to get bad grades. He's working hard after all.

School is certainly not a place of equality.

If only everyone else saw what he saw. Saw just how hard Sawada was trying.

Takeshi really had to admire Sawada for the way the boy never submitted to social pressures like he did. Most people might say Sawada did submit, but the mere fact that he came back, day after day, no matter how sore the bruises and injuries, was a statement and defiance in its own right. Lesser people had resorted to some very sad things to escape from a world like Sawada's. But not him. Not Sawada Tsunayoshi.

And Takeshi loved that.

Hmm? Where had that come from?

Takeshi sat and thought about that a while later on, in the last remedial class of the term. Christmas holidays were tomorrow luckily.

Love. Why had he thought that to himself? It was a word that people threw around carelessly, and as such Takeshi tried to use it as little as possible. He could say he loved Baseball for he did. It was his entire world at the moment. And that's what love was, right? Something all encompassing, something that took you over, something that you concentrated on so much that you couldn't think of anything else.

Love was that thing in shojo manga where the girl was always watching the guy she liked, but always too afraid to talk to him. The thing that made her heart go thump thump and doki-doki. That thing where all the girl could think about was him. That thing where… That thing where…

The teacher and Sawada jumped as suddenly Takeshi slammed his head onto his desk.

* * *

There was this boy in his class, a popular boy who seemed to have it all. A bright smile, friends, people paying him attention, a good sense of humour, a place where he seemed to belong. Tsunayoshi would watch the boy from his own seat by the window, watch as he laughed with the boys, or replied to some comment a girl had directed towards him. He'd watch as the boy got invitation after invitation to go for lunch with different groups of class mates. A carefree laugh, a relaxed hand at the back of the neck, hand after hand on his shoulder.

Oh how he wished for that.

Tsunayoshi wondered on some days what it would be like to be this boy he admired. To be the centre of positive attention, to never be alone, to never have nasty remarks aimed like knives at him. He wasn't envious, for the boy he admired had worked for his place, had earned it through sporting accomplishment, unlike himself who didn't have anything going for him unless tripping over became a sport. No envy, no hatred, just mild curiosity, just a day dream.

Tsunayoshi was generally found staring out of the window, long having given up on learning what he was supposed to. It didn't make any sense. And since he didn't have the basics down, how could he learn the more complex ideas? No one ever asked him what he day-dreamed about, and that was a good thing, for he wouldn't be able to give them an answer. For he didn't day-dream, at least not all that often. No instead he was staring at the reflection of a particular boy in the glass.

He'd watch the boy sleeping away the lesson, head resting on arms- without snoring, the act couldn't be more obvious. Sometimes Tsunayoshi would watch the reflection when the boy was surrounded by his classmates to make sure that no one thought he was outright staring- which he was, but being caught usually lead into arguments, retorts or tellings-off from his classmates, as if he wasn't worthy enough to gaze upon the baseball star.

But one day, he had noticed something he had never noticed before in the glass. And that was that the boy was watching him whilst pretending to be asleep. Did he know he was being watched? Did he not like it? And most importantly, shouldn't he be asleep?

From there on out, Tsunayoshi started to take more notice of the boy that he admired. And that's when he discovered that the boy who had everything, was not who he seemed to be.

That maybe he didn't belong there at all. That maybe he didn't like being where he was.

For why else would those smiles be fake? Why did he let everyone else touch him, yet not touch the others in return? Why was it that when no one but a boy through the glass was looking, he had on a sad or bored or even sometimes disgusted expression?

"Yamamoto, Sawada!"

Tsunayoshi jumped out of his seat, heart beating a mile a minute at the sudden shock. He had been so involved in his thoughts that he'd tuned the world out. He hurriedly picked the chair up, attempting to ignore the comments and laughter directed at him. He took a side glance at Yamamoto, the boy he admired, expecting to see the same laughter on his face too.

But there wasn't.

Maybe it was wishful thinking changing his vision, maybe his quickened blood stopped entering his brain, for he was sure he saw something akin to a disgusted expression on the idol's face. But it wasn't aimed at him, Yamamoto wasn't even looking at him, but at the rest of the class. The look is gone before Tsunayoshi can blink and check it's real.

Why? Why that face again?

Tsunayoshi scurried to the front of the class, wanting to get this over and done quickly. He knew what to expect- another bad grade. And indeed he's right, with remedial classes to boot. Didn't the teacher know the holidays were tomorrow? Wasn't Christmas supposed to be a time of giving and forgiveness?

Yamamoto laughed, a hand behind his head- something Tsunayoshi knew he did when sort of embarrassed, but not really. He looked over at Tsunayoshi and smiled.

Real.

That had been a real smile, not a fake one, not like the ones the star had been giving his classmates. Now Tsunayoshi knew what to look for, the difference was clear. This smile reached his eyes, making them sparkle beautifully.

Huh? Beau-

"Hahaa, at least I won't be alone, right, Sawada?" Yamamoto says, placing a hand on Tsunayoshi's shoulder like a comrade, eyes looking at him without a hint of disgust or malice like everyone else. And he'd even used Tsunayoshi's name rather than the nickname everybody else used.

Yamamoto Takeshi was truly amazing.

* * *

Boy~ Christmas Eve sure was busy!

Takeshi grinned to himself, taking a walk around the neighbourhood as part of his break from working at his Father's restaurant. He couldn't even remember how long he had been working for, and he could have worked longer, but his pops had practically forced him to take a break.

Takeshi was glad he had listened to his pops' advice; the neighbourhood looked so pretty covered in snow. Everything was all sparkle-sparkle and his breath went huff-huff and … there was someone lying on the ground going huff-huff too.

Curious, Takeshi went to take a look at the person lying in the snow unmoving apart from the dramatic rise and fall of their chest.

Oh, it was an angel!

"Yo, Sawada! Out making snow angels?"

His mask was back in place, showing that slightly strained smile that was a little too wide, that made his eyes close just a little too much. There were more footprints in the snow than just Sawada's, there were ridges and scuffs, marks of a failed escape. It wouldn't surprise Takeshi if Sawada had been 'helped' to the ground. It would explain his ragged breathing.

Tsunayoshi opened blurry eyes, looking up at the shadow that was covering his face. He blinks at the change of light, the sky was an eye hurting shade of white-grey, a mark of more snow to come.

An angel was looking down at him.

"Stop it." He mumbled, still blinking to clear his vision.

Takeshi tilted his head before widening his fake-smile. "Don't worry Sawada, it's me, Yamamoto. Can I join you? Making snow angels seems like fun."

All he got in reply was a groan as Sawada moved (he was injured then), so Takeshi just lay down anyway, spread his limbs and started vigorously moving.

This was fun!

Fun fun fun.

So fun.

…

Who was he kidding?

After long silent minutes, Takeshi's movement slowed, and eventually stopped altogether. Instead he just stared at the grey sky.

"You're amazing, you know. Like an innocent angel."

Tsunayoshi turned his head, looking strangely at the boy lying next to him. The boy he admired was complimenting him. And it didn't sound false or forced. It sounded true.

"I don't know how you do it. You put up with everything the class does to you. You don't really complain about it, you just deal with it. No one would blame you if you retaliated. But you don't. And you don't let it get you down either. I think I would have given up long ago if that was happening to me. But you just keep trying so so hard. I don't think anyone has looked at you long enough to notice it. There's more to you than what people see, I've discovered. I admire you. I wish I could be more like you."

"You don't want to be me." Tsunayoshi muttered, looking up at the sky too, before taking in as deep a breath as his sore chest would allow. "You should be yourself instead. You're an amazing person after all, when you're being yourself. You're sporty and athletic, handsome, funny, easy to get along with; everyone loves you. You're also a great actor. Our class must be blind then, for if they haven't looked at me clearly, then they haven't looked at you properly either, and you're the centre of attention."

Takeshi smiled wider, laughing. He hoped it didn't sound as fake to Tsunayoshi as it did to him. "Maa maa Sawada, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Stop that. I already told you to stop it."

Takeshi blinked, before letting the mask fall from his face. So that's what Sawada had meant earlier. Takeshi had assumed Sawada was asking the bullies to stop it, mistaking his identity. But he had truly meant for Takeshi to stop wearing a mask. Sawada was so caring.

"You're an angel too. You smile and act nice to everyone, even though I expect that they annoy you really. How many of those people are really your friend, and how many are just near you for the fame? Yet you don't turn anyone away. You accept their smiles and touches and gifts with a smile and thanks. You're the amazing one for being able to do that, not me. Anyone can do what I do. But I'm… I'm… I'm here, when you just want to be yourself. I'm here. I, ah, I can't do a lot. I'm Dame-Tsuna after all. But I'll listen, and um, let you be yourself."

"I think I love you."

"Eeeh?"

"Hahaa, I think I'm falling in love with you, Sawada."

Tsunayoshi just blinked, looking to the side to be able to see the other without getting up.

"I think I finally realised it the last day of school, when we were in the remedial class together. After watching you for so long, I think I've fallen in love." Takeshi explained, a soft smile on his face. A real smile, Tsunayoshi realised.

"You don't want to fall in love with someone like me." Tsunayoshi whispered, looking away. He wasn't good enough for someone like Yamamoto.

"On the contrary, someone like you is exactly who I want to fall in love with. And I have. It's too late to change it now~. I want us to find a reprieve in each other. To be there for each other. You for me, and me for you. You know where Takesushi is, right? You can come there anytime and I'll be there, no matter what. Understand?"

"Yeah." Tsunayoshi mumbled, cheeks a bright red, doing his best to look at everything but the boy he admired lying next to him. "So, promise me. No more masks?" He asked, pinky finger extended.

Takeshi nodded. "No more suffering alone?" Only when Sawada nodded does Takeshi wrap his own pinky finger around Sawada's.

"Promise."

* * *

**Phantom Hitman 1412**

**First Published: 28 December 2013**


End file.
